Guide to fertility, pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum and
motherhood
Trying to Conceive:
Many couples eagerly hope to conceive a child, but find that
it is a little harder than they originally anticipated. If you are having difficulty
conceiving, it is best to discuss this with your care provider. If you are just starting the process,
then use the tips below to help make the process of conception a little bit
easier on everyone.
Understand your body
Unfortunately, most women don’t really understand how their
body works. Your body actually
tells you when you are fertile, and not just by a change in body temperature.
Many women simply make the mistake of thinking their bodies are on an average
cycle. Whether you are trying to conceive or trying not to conceive,
I highly recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni
Weschler.
Be patient
It can take up to 6 months or longer for many couples to
conceive. Because unexpected
pregnancies are quite common, most people assume that it is an easy
process. However, many factors
must line up right for a child to come into being. Age, diet and environment can be big factors in how easily
you will get pregnant. Remember
also that it can take a long time for your body to kick back into gear after
quitting long-term birth control.
Check your environment
It is suspected that household chemicals and products may
have some effect on conception abilities.
Try to avoid harsh cleaners and chemicals, as well as any plastics that
contain BPA. You may also want to
avoid products containing hormones, such as traditional dairy foods or perfumes
with pheromones.
Relax and be healthy
Stress can make baby making not so fun. Relax and let chance be your guide. Keep eating a healthy diet full of
whole grains, fruits and vegetables and remember to exercise at least three
times a week. If your body is
happy and healthy and stress-free, you are increasing your chances of
conception.
Pregnancy-First
Trimester:
Congratulations, you are pregnant! The first trimester can be a very exciting time as you
relish in the thought that you will soon be bringing a child into the
world. The hardest decisions for
you right now likely will be choosing a care provider and deciding when to tell
your family. Pregnancy monitoring
during the first trimester is pretty laid back; you generally only go in about
once a month for checkups at this point.
At 8 weeks, most expectant mothers will have an ultrasound to check the
fetus for viability and determine a more accurate due date.
Choose your provider
When you choose your care provider, take your time. You want to make sure that you will be
on the same page throughout your pregnancy and during the birth process. You will also need to have a good idea
of what kind of birth you want; many OB’s will not attend home births and most
states have rather specific laws about what midwives can and can’t do in
hospitals. If you want a natural
birth, ask your care provider how he or she feels about letting you labor at
home, the necessity of common interventions like breaking your water and also
check his or her C-Section rate.
High cesarean rates don’t necessarily mean that your care provider won’t
support a natural birth, but they do mean that your care provider’s experience
and training are more geared in that direction.
Planning ahead
You don’t have to be ready for birth right now, but you will
probably want to consider what type of birth and postpartum experience are
important to you. You can consult
pregnancy books to learn a little bit about different birth plans. For your postpartum, you may want to
start thinking about how you will find the support you need to breastfeed and
make it through those first sleep-deprived weeks.
Tips, tricks, and favorite products:
Morning sickness
For morning sickness, nothing really worked for me. Everyone suggested I eat saltines, but
they only made me more sick. What
worked for me? Ginger beer (with
real ginger bits), sour patch kids and Preggie Pops. Apparently sour things (and cheese) were the only things
that agreed with me. I also was a big fan of tea, and Earth Mama Angel Baby
makes a great Morning Wellness tea if you are into that. Oh, and they make a Happy Mama spray as
well; it’s like a body mist that has ginger and stuff in it to calm your
queasiness. And remember that your body is pre-programmed to feed your baby
first, so he or she will be fine even if you have days where the eating is at a
minimum.
Fitness
It is important to keep exercising while you are
pregnant. In fact, if you are
currently running or cycling regularly, you don’t even have to stop with your
normal routine. You’ll probably not be up to a brisk jog in your final month,
but for now, keep it up. The
exercise will help your baby grow and keep morning sickness and exhaustion to a
minimum. You might be tired, but
make a point to get up off the couch once a day to take care of your changing
body.
Books
For starters, let me state that I hate the entire line of
“What to Expect” books. They
aren’t bad, but they aren’t really the best resource you can have at your
fingertips. When you go to select
your pregnancy book, take some time to look at the entire shelf. I have personally found that the Dr.
Sears pregnancy book and the Great Expectations pregnancy book are my two
favorites: they present all of the information you need in a balanced way that
makes you feel empowered during your pregnancy.
Your body
You may not look pregnant yet, but your body is already
starting to change, and you need to start preparing now. First, invest in a large stainless
steel or BPA-free plastic water bottle.
Trust me, you will be dying of thirst until the day you stop nursing, so
just invest in the prettiest, coolest water bottle you can so that you always
have plenty to drink no matter where you are. Second, go schedule your monthly prenatal massage. Most massage therapists give a special
rate to expectant mothers, and by the time you get to your second trimester you
will really want to have that monthly treat. The massage helps with morning sickness, hormonal swings,
aches and pains and the dreaded circulatory and swelling issues that come in
the third trimester. Worth. Every. Penny. Finally, now is the time to start
moisturizing that belly so your stretch marks don’t stick around for the rest
of your life. Let me clarify:
every woman gets stretch marks.
But good moisturization during and after pregnancy will help them
disappear to practically nothing. Personally, I loved the Mama Bee Belly Cream,
made by Burt’s Bees. I’ve also
heard good things about the Earth Mama Angel Baby line of belly lotions and
oil.
2nd
Trimester
Ah, the second trimester; you are finally starting to show a
little bit of cute pregnancy belly, the morning sickness is mostly gone, and
the hormonal swings have calmed down for the time being. This is a great time to take some time
for yourself and get yourself comfortable before that baby starts taking up
space. You may notice a few aches
and pains near the end of the second trimester as your hips and ribs expand to
make room for your growing uterus.
If you have an exhausting day, sit back with a cup of tea and a good
book; your body is doing more work than you even know!
Choosing your birth and breastfeeding class
By the end of the second trimester, you should be ready to
sign up for your birth class and breastfeeding class. Ideally, you will find a class that covers both topics
together. Most places that offer
birth classes will give you the choice between a 6-8 week class or a Saturday
class. My recommendation? Pick the 6-8 week class. You will learn A LOT in your birth class
and it will be hard to process it all in one day. Plus, a one-day class will only skim the surface. A longer class will give you more time
to ask questions, get to know other expectant families, and practice natural
laboring techniques. Even if you
plan to get an epidural, you should still have some tools to cope with pain for
two reasons. 1: some epidurals don’t completely take, and you may still be
stuck feeling a couple things. 2: you may not be able to get your epidural the
second you start feeling labor pains, so it is good to know how to cope until
anesthesia can get to you.
Remember, the more you know about birth, the more you can be empowered
and have control over your birth experience.
Tips, tricks and favorite products:
Clothes
As your body changes, you may find that some of your old
clothes don’t fit. You will
definitely want to invest in some comfortable supportive bras, maternity pants
and dresses. Trust me on this; by
the time you get to your last month, you will be thankful for the dresses
because nothing else will feel good.
And those belly bands?
Don’t waste your money.
Belly bands, pants extenders and hair ties are really not that great at
keeping your pants up or your zipper zipped. You are growing another human being inside yourself; treat
yourself to a decent comfortable wardrobe! Finally, invest in a nice pair of slip-on shoes one shoe
size bigger than your current shoe size.
You will thank yourself when you can’t reach your toes.
When you decide where to purchase your clothes, you might be
drawn to discount maternity retailers.
In my experience, the clothes are made as cheaply as the price. I bought a $20 pair of maternity jeans
form a discount store, and they ripped within a month. I caught a good sale at Gap maternity,
and I’m positive those jeans (regularly $70) will last through several
pregnancies. Oh, and they were way
more comfortable. And I love the
sales associates at Gap—they are always so friendly and helpful!
Books
Now is a good time to start reading up on the birth process
and breastfeeding. Yes, it will be
covered in your birth class, but you will be so overwhelmed with all the new information
that it will be hard to absorb. If
you start the learning process on your own late in the second trimester, you
will have time to ask questions about the parts that you truly don’t
understand. Most birth books are
pretty good at covering the process, but I liked “The Complete Book of
Pregnancy and Childbirth” by Sheila Kitzinger and “Our Bodies, Ourselves:
Pregnancy and Birth” by the Boston Women’s Health Book Collective.
Fitness
As your body grows, you may find that your regular exercise
routine is getting a little uncomfortable. Prenatal yoga is a great way to keep your body in shape and
prepare it for birth. Most yoga
studios offer special rates for expectant mothers, so give it a try! It will help you relax and stay fit for
your little one!
Your body
As your body grows, you may find that sleeping starts to get
a little more uncomfortable. If
you are burying yourself in a mountain of pillows, you might want to consider
getting a pregnancy body pillow.
Boppy and snoogli make some really great and comfortable pillows that
will help you get a good night’s rest.
Oh, and don’t forget to keep drinking water. Dehydration can cause all sorts of issues in pregnancy, and
it is so easy to prevent!
3rd
trimester
In this trimester, you are getting bigger and bigger as your
baby approaches viability outside the womb. By this time, you are seeing your
doctor or midwife more frequently, you are attending (or have attended) birth
classes, and you are putting the final touches on your baby’s nursery. You might be huge, swollen and
exhausted, but you are excited to meet the new member of your family.
Preparing for birth and the postpartum
At this point, if you haven’t gone to a birth class,
GO. Preparation is half the
battle, and birth is more a mental battle than anything else. If you want a natural birth especially,
you need to know about the process so you are prepared for what is coming. In addition to your class, there are
many books and other resources available to help you learn everything you need
to know about birth. Another great
resource? Hire a doula! What is a doula? A doula is a trained support person to
help you get through labor and birth, no matter what kind of labor or birth you
have. Doulas know how to make
epidural labors go faster, and can help you with breastfeeding after a
C-section! Doulas stay with you
from the beginning of labor at least until breastfeeding has been initiated so
that you can have someone with you every step of the way. Most doulas will want you to hire them
early in the third trimester so that you can set up some prenatal appointments
that will help her get acquainted with you and your birth plan.
If you know you are going to breastfeed after birth, you
need to set up your support system now.
Breastfeeding is not impossible, but it is a lot easier if you know who
to call when a hiccup arises.
Attend a La Leche League or Breastfeeding USA meeting a few weeks before
your due date to get to know some other women who can lend a hand when the baby
comes. Also, find the number of a
good, Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Some doctors have good knowledge about breastfeeding, but
most don’t. If you are having
trouble, an IBCLC has very specialized training that can pinpoint and correct a
problem before you ever need to supplement.
Tips, tricks, and favorite products:
Books and resources
If you have done your class and read the books, but you are
still nervous about birth, I strongly recommend the book “An Easier Childbirth”
by Gail Peterson. Also, take a
minute to check out spinningbabies.com to learn a little bit about fetal
positioning and labor. The success
of your labor can depend on your baby’s position. Some positioning can be improved early in labor if you
practice belly mapping and know how your baby is positioned at the beginning of
labor.
If you want to breastfeed, now is the time to buy your
breastfeeding resources. I prefer
two books: “Breasfeeding Made Simple” by Nancy Mohrbacher and “The Womanly Art
of Breastfeeding” by Weissinger, et al. You can also check out Kellymom.com for
some great breastfeeding tips and tricks.
I love this website because it is written using evidence-based
information to help all mothers have success at breastfeeding. If you would like to know a little more
about breastfeeding, check out my breastfeeding page to get started.
Now is also a good time to stock up on baby books. I personally own “The Baby Book” by Dr.
Sears and LOVE it. It’s seriously
like an owner’s manual for parents (or the closest you will ever get to
one). In addition, if you are
worried about vaccines (or even if you aren’t), I strongly recommend “The
Vaccine Book” by Dr. Sears (Jr.).
This book tells you about every disease, why we vaccinate, the contents
of every vaccine from every brand, and the potential risks that have some
parents worried. Dr. Sears talks
frankly about the risks of the virus versus the minimal risks from the vaccine,
but respects parents who still have concerns and offers up alternative
vaccination schedules that will still protect your child from life-threatening
diseases.
Your body
At this point, you may be feeling some extreme discomfort
from time to time. Your baby is
karate chopping you in the ribs, your toes are swollen, and the heartburn is
constant. Listen to your body. If you need a rest, take one. And drink water by the gallon. The water will help with the swelling,
as well as your aches and pains.
Another way to help keep your body fit is to blow up an exercise ball
(also called a birth ball by labor and birth professionals) and sit on it or
roll around on it every night.
This helps to work your core and open up your pelvic area in anticipation
of labor.
Additionally, now may be a good time for your partner to
start doing some regular massage on your perineum. By now, you are probably familiar with the concept of
tearing or an episiotomy in the delivery room. One way to help avoid either of these situations is to have
your partner massage the perineum with a natural oil, like coconut oil, once a
day. If you need instructions,
there are many good tutorials on the web.
Products I love
Tea, tea and more tea!
This is all I drank to soothe my woes in the final trimester. Earth Mama Angel Baby made two teas I
loved, the Third Trimester tea, and the Heartburn tea. These really helped me up until I went
to term. Once I hit 37 weeks, I
was so ready for that baby to come out that I drank multiple glasses of red
raspberry leaf tea every day to get my uterus toned and ready!
I also loved my slip-on shoes and dresses a lot by this
point. A LOT a lot. Comfortable
clothes. And soothing baths. And
massages! Seriously, whatever
makes you feel comfortable at this point, go for it. And always, always hit the “kneel” button on the campus or
city bus. It’s a pain to have to
take that giant step.
Just for fun
Early in the third trimester (before you are the size of a
small whale), get some gorgeous maternity photos. You may not feel beautiful right now, but you are truly
gorgeous and you will treasure those intimate photos of you and your growing
family for years to come. Another
fun thing to do near the end of your third trimester is to decorate that
belly! Some women choose to paint,
while others choose to get henna art or do a belly casting in the final
weeks. It is a fun way to enjoy
your new shape and welcome your baby into the world! Just for fun, here is a link to some very awesome maternity
henna designs on pinterest! http://pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=henna+belly+art
